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  <channel>
    <title><![CDATA[Jokes - ArcaMax Publishing]]></title>
	<link>https://www.arcamax.com//entertainment/humor/jokes/rss</link>
	<description><![CDATA[Jokes News Feed]]></description>
	<language>en-us</language>
	<copyright>Copyright 2026 ArcaMax Publishing</copyright>
	
	
	
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		<title><![CDATA[Boy, Officer, and Squirrel]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[A policeman caught a nasty little boy with a penknife in one hand and a 
squirrel in the other.

"Now listen here," the policeman said, "Whatever you do to that poor, 
defenseless creature I shall personally do to you"

"In that case," said the ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-1194087</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Aug/28/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[The Diagnosis]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[
A women accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, 
the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said: "If you don't do 
the following, your husband will surely die.

1. Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast.

...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-62110</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Aug/28/2026</pubDate>
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  <item>
  
		<title><![CDATA[Just Like A Woman]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.
A blond lady walked by and asked what they were doing.

"We're supposed
to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a
ladder."

The woman took a wrench ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-61134</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Aug/28/2026</pubDate>
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  <item>
  
		<title><![CDATA[Law and Order]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[
Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or
you'll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of probability:
The probability ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-61133</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Aug/28/2026</pubDate>
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  <item>
  
		<title><![CDATA[Tech Support]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[Dear Tech Support: 

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down
in the performance of the flower and jewelry applications that had operated
flawlessly under the Boyfriend 5.0 system. 

In addition, Husband 1.0 ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-10140</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Aug/28/2026</pubDate>
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  <item>
  
		<title><![CDATA[Never Lie to Your Mother pt. 4]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[... continued from above

Several hours later, he received an email from  his Mother which read:

Dear Son:

I’m not saying that you ‘do’ sleep with your roommate,
and I’m not saying that you ‘do not’ sleep with her.

But the fact ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-1380137</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Aug/27/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Walking Economy]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[This guy is walking with his friend, who happens to be a psychologist. He says to this friend, "I'm a walking economy."

The friend asks, "How so?"

"My hair line is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation, and both of these together are...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-400208</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Aug/27/2026</pubDate>
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  <item>
  
		<title><![CDATA[Great Theft]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[Did you hear that someone broke into our local police station and stole the toilet?

Right now the cops have nothing to go on.
<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-400201</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Aug/27/2026</pubDate>
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  <item>
  
		<title><![CDATA[No Sound Support]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[I recently purchased a new PC from one of the major computer manufacturers. I placed my order via the web but asked for them to call me for my credit card information. So, after a couple days of phone tag, I got in touch with the saleswoman ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-228789</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Aug/27/2026</pubDate>
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  <item>
  
		<title><![CDATA[Feeding the Baby]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[A first-time father was taking a turn at feeding the baby some strained peas. Naturally, there were traces of the food everywhere, especially on the infant.

His wife comes in, looks at the infant, then at her husband staring into space, then says...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-228780</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Aug/27/2026</pubDate>
  </item>

	
	
  <item>
  
		<title><![CDATA[Ever Wonder? pt. 4]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[... continued from above

Why is it that doctors call what
they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with
artificial flavor, and dish washing
liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all
your money called a broker?

Why is the ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-1380048</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Aug/26/2026</pubDate>
  </item>

	
	
  <item>
  
		<title><![CDATA[Ever Wonder? pt. 3]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[... continued from above

Why isn't there mouse-flavored
cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle
for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black
box that is used on airplanes? Why
don't ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-1380047</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Aug/26/2026</pubDate>
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  <item>
  
		<title><![CDATA[Darned Men!]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[Men will brag that there are women waiting by the phone at this very moment for their call. Who are these women? 
- Women working at 900 numbers.

Where is the best place in a book store to find a man who is handsome, a good lover and a ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-399639</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Aug/26/2026</pubDate>
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  <item>
  
		<title><![CDATA[New Practice]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[Jack made his way through veterinary school working nights as a taxidermist.

Upon graduation, he decided he could combine his two vocations to better 
serve the needs of his patients and their owners, while doubling his 
practice and, therefore, ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-60450</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Aug/26/2026</pubDate>
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  <item>
  
		<title><![CDATA[The Modern Toolbox]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[
Hammer - In ancient times a hammer was used to inflict pain on ones 
enemies. Modern hammers are used to inflict pain on oneself.

Screwdriver - The drink ordered at the local bar after you call in a 
professional repairman to undo the $500 in ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-60448</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Aug/26/2026</pubDate>
  </item>

	
	
  <item>
  
		<title><![CDATA[Fireman]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[Felix, my husband, was playing golf with our town's fire 
chief when he hit a ball into the rough. As Felix headed 
for the brush to find his ball, the chief warned him, "Be 
careful, the rattlesnakes are out." 

The chief explained that calls had...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-938538</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Aug/25/2026</pubDate>
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  <item>
  
		<title><![CDATA[Bidding Higher]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[One day a man went to an auction. While there,
he bid on a parrot. He really wanted this bird,
so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept on
bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher
and higher and higher.

Finally, after he bid way more...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-938391</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Aug/25/2026</pubDate>
  </item>

	
	
  <item>
  
		<title><![CDATA[Perfection]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[The preacher said, "There's no such thing as a perfect woman. Anybody
present who has ever known a perfect woman, stand up."

Nobody stood up.

"Those who have ever known a perfect man, stand up."

One elderly gentleman stood up.

"Are you ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-938389</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Aug/25/2026</pubDate>
  </item>

	
	
  <item>
  
		<title><![CDATA[Nasty Habits]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[
It seems that an elephant got too close to all the baby ducks the circus 
had brought in for Easter and accidentally inhaled a bunch of them.

The poor elephant was choking on them and no one could help. Finally the 
trainer goosed him -- and the...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-60063</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Aug/25/2026</pubDate>
  </item>

	
	
  <item>
  
		<title><![CDATA[Yummy Fruit]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[
A women's lib speaker was addressing a large group and said "Where would 
man be today if it were not for woman?"

She paused
a moment and looked around the room. "I repeat, where would man be today if 
it were not for woman?"

 From the back of ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-60062</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Aug/25/2026</pubDate>
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