Life Advice
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Asking Eric: Parents concerned about adult son’s depression
Dear Eric: Our 30-year-old son moved back in with us two years ago, unemployed and not seriously looking for employment. We insisted that he get a job. While he still goes to work every day, he hates this job and appears to be slipping into depression. He sleeps a lot, barely communicates with us, has almost no social life and shows little ...Read more
Husband Loses Focus After Retirement
DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband retired last year, and ever since, he has done virtually nothing. He watches YouTube all day long, eats snacks, sits, smokes weed, drinks and complains. He was already becoming somewhat of a curmudgeon in recent years, but now he has gone off the deep end. It's making me crazy. When I say anything to him, it sparks an ...Read more
'bless This Toxic Food My Ill-Informed Colleague Made'
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am happily employed by a very low-key, faith-based organization. Community and collaboration are part of our work culture, so leadership encourages our teams to share holy day meals together several times a year. We always pray a simple blessing before we eat.
One of our co-workers is careful, and vocal, about how her food ...Read more
When Your Child Becomes the Landlord
Dear Annie: I live with my almost-30-year-old daughter. She acquired our place through a lawsuit settlement.
She talks to and treats me like I'm a child and tries to control my life. She often reminds me: "This is my place. I run things." I could go on and on, but the bottom line is that she constantly makes me feel uneasy in what's supposed ...Read more
Mom Unsure What To Do When Disturbing Truth Is Revealed
DEAR ABBY: My daughter "Kate" is 22 and just recently graduated from college. She has been dating her boyfriend for five years. I love this young man like he was my own.
The problem is, I just found out Kate has been seeing someone on the side. He is her boss, and he's 54 years old! I'm sworn to secrecy because her older sister told me about ...Read more
Asking Eric: Friend drops the ball after brain tumor diagnosis
Dear Eric: A year ago, I had to have a procedure for a brain tumor. A very scary emotional roller coaster event. My best friend of 42 years, said, “Don’t worry; I will be with you every step of the way.”
When the date and time were finally provided, I told her we have to be at the hospital at 6:30 a.m. Her response was “I can’t go ...Read more
Godson Being Pursued By Much Older Woman
DEAR HARRIETTE: My godson is 22 years old -- soon to be a college graduate beginning his life as an adult. He confides in me about his life, including his dating life. He told me that he is being courted by a woman who is 20 years older than him. She is attractive and has a good job, but I think that's too old. He's just starting his life. This ...Read more
Cuteness Doesn't Guarantee You The Chair You Want
DEAR MISS MANNERS: What do you do if someone takes your chair? Does it matter if it is the throne of a ruler of great lands?
Let me explain.
My family and I were waiting to be seated at a restaurant and we found a corner of a bench to rest. A few minutes go by, and a little patron (preschool age) came and said, "Hey, you're in our seat!" I ...Read more
The Last Tie to an Ex
Dear Annie: Three months ago, I ended a two-year relationship with my boyfriend. We lived together in my apartment. The breakup was painful and overdue. I've blocked his number and have no interest in reopening that chapter.
The problem is that his mail is still arriving here. Not just catalogs, but things that look important -- a bank ...Read more
Parents Continue To Ignore Older Son's Request
DEAR ABBY: I am in my late 30s. I live halfway across the country from my parents and don't have the best relationship with them. I also have a brother four years younger from whom I have been estranged for 20 years. He lives in the same city as my parents.
My problem is, if I visit, my parents (especially my mom) will tell my brother and ...Read more
Asking Eric: Coworkers constantly excluded older employee
Dear Eric: I am 61 years old and work in a law firm where I have a billable hours requirement. One coworker is a couple years older than I am, and the supervisor and two other employees are close in age (20s/30s).
The older coworker is treated like a princess because she is very assertive and has top seniority in the office. She wears the pants...Read more
Booking Error Causes Strain In Friendship
DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend and I are going on a trip to Iceland. The other day, we were looking at dates to book our flights; we decided on a seven-day trip, and my friend decided to book her flight on the spot while I held off to double-check my work schedule and compare prices. After she booked her flight, she realized that she booked it for a ...Read more
Callous, Nosy Colleague Outdoes Herself
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My co-worker, who has been trying to become a supervisor for the last 15 years, and maybe will one day, always seems to have to inquire about everything.
My grandma passed away, and I got approval from HR and my boss to take bereavement leave for the memorial services. My bereavement time will not affect this colleague's work...Read more
Teasing or Tearing Down?
Dear Annie: My younger sister is getting married this fall. I'm happy for her. The problem is her fiance.
At family dinners he makes little digs at her -- jokes about her cooking, her spending, even her weight. When she laughs uncomfortably, he says, "Relax, you're too sensitive." Last Sunday, he teased her about "finally locking him down ...Read more
Teens' Clothes-Swapping Eventually Goes As Predicted
DEAR ABBY: When my daughter entered her teens, she and her friends began borrowing each other's clothes. I didn't approve, and I warned my daughter that if anything became lost or damaged, I would not be responsible, nor would I replace the item. She said she understood and continued the practice.
As I predicted, some of her clothes went ...Read more
Single File: Volunteerism and Connection to Community
The recent wildfires in Northern California were a dramatic testament to the need for community, proving that all of us are -- without question -- our brother's keeper. And what better population to energize compassion than the unmarried, sandwiched between generations (usually with fewer obligations) and freer to use their time and energy for ...Read more
Ask Dating Coach Erika: What should I do if I'm tired of online dating?
Whether it’s at work, in our personal lives or even something as specific as cooking dinner every night, we all experience burnout at one time or another. So, it’s no surprise that online dating is no exception to the rule.
Finding a romantic relationship may feel like the top priority at times, but that is going to be a lot harder if you�...Read more
Ask Anna: How do I ask out someone without it getting weird?
Dear Anna,
I could use your help. I rent a parking space during the workweek from a very charming woman who lives in the building across from my office. A coworker connected us through the doorman when I was looking for a space.
From the first time we spoke, there was a … familiarity. She asked if we’d met before. She’s always been kind ...Read more
Asking Eric: Longtime friends excluded from group trip
Dear Eric: We are four couples, everyone in the group except me has the same birth year. For their 60th 10 years ago, we planned a trip together and had a great time.
My husband and one of the men are cousins. As the years passed, his cousin wanted to remain close and wanted to get together at least once a month. Sometimes one of the other ...Read more
Anxious Reader Needs Help Feeling Safe
DEAR HARRIETTE: Lately, my anxiety has been keeping me up at night, scaring me away from windows, crowded places, public transportation and tall buildings, and causing excessive overthinking. With recent developments between the United States and countries like Iran, I am afraid all the time. Social media doesn't help by simply mocking all this ...Read more
Inside Life Advice
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