Life Advice
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Asking Eric: Letter writer can’t get answers about friend’s death
Dear Eric: Via complete happenstance I have recently become aware of my oldest friend's death about a year ago. Mary and I grew up across the street from one another in the ’60s and ’70s. I played with her and with her older brother as kids, and our families were close.
She had been my friend for about 60 years.
I have been desperate to ...Read more
Family Means Showing Up
Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married for nearly 39 years. He has always had a tendency to put himself first -- even before our sons, and now even our toddler grandson -- but I'm at my wits' end over his latest act of selfishness.
His only sister recently suffered a traumatic fall. She was airlifted to a trauma center with a ...Read more
Millennial Life: Ni De Aqui, Ni De Alla
I'm flying home in two weeks, and for the first time, I'm apprehensive. This time, I'm an official delegate representing one of my homes to another. Representing countries is a role I've had my entire life, but this has brought up an identity crisis that I had smothered with work, raising kids, and even running for office. It's thinking about ...Read more

Asking Eric: Son’s in-laws stake a claim on every holiday, leaving parents in the cold
Dear Eric: We live in the same town as my son's family. He and his wife have two little boys. Our daughter-in-law's parents have many nice homes, including a local condo.
Her mother takes charge and makes plans for every holiday unless she's traveling. And we are never invited, despite our invites to them whenever we've squeezed in some plans. ...Read more
What You Don't Say Can Hurt You
Dear Annie: I've been a longtime reader, and a recent column really resonated with me. I'm a couples coach, and I see this pattern often: people who fear conflict tend to suppress their feelings rather than express them. Over time, that silence turns into resentment, and eventually, things explode -- sometimes irreparably.
In the letter you ...Read more

Asking Eric: Grandparents wonder how long to keep trying to reach estranged granddaughter
Dear Eric: My husband and I have been estranged from our 17-year-old granddaughter for eight years. We were loving, supportive grandparents but after the mother of our granddaughter broke up with our son, the father, she stopped our granddaughter from seeing us as well.
For eight years, I have tried to keep contact with our granddaughter with ...Read more
New Mom Rattled by Other Woman in the Workplace
Dear Annie: My boyfriend and I have been together for eight years. We have an 18-year age gap. I'm 39, and he's 57. We have a strong relationship and have been through hell and back together. God blessed us with our 6-month-old son, "Michael." We have a happy little family.
We also work together. There's been a young co-worker constantly ...Read more

Asking Eric: Husband disapproves of wife’s dream vacation
Dear Eric: I am planning a getaway with my best friend from grade school. We live in different parts of the United States but keep in touch and see each other when we can. We want to celebrate each of us turning 60 this year by going to a Caribbean destination for a few days. My husband of more than 30 years is not a beach person, so he’s glad...Read more
When Screen Time Interferes With Family Time
Dear Annie: I've been married to my husband, "David," for nine years. We have two kids, ages 7 and 4. Lately, I've been struggling with how much time he spends on his phone. Every night after dinner, instead of helping with bedtime or talking with me, David disappears into the garage or sits on the couch playing online poker. I've brought it ...Read more

Asking Eric: Retiree feels obligated to always go see friends’ new band
Dear Eric: Since retiring, some friends have put together a band. I went to one of their gigs a couple years ago, and recently a practice session.
They would clearly like me to go to more, or all, of their gigs. The gigs are typically at night, an hour from where I live. I am a morning person. After years of commuting, I am happy to drive as ...Read more
Too Much of a Good Thing
Dear Annie: I have a cousin whom I've had a cherished lifelong friendship with.
We meet several times a year halfway between our homes and sometimes at each other's homes with our families. We often would bring each other a little something, such as vegetables from our garden or a loaf of bread from our favorite bakery.
The last time she ...Read more
Single File: More Shyness Talk
DEAR SUSAN: OK, so there are shy men and shy women -- and not-so-shy men and not-so-shy women. Why should shyness be seen as something bad, something that needs correcting? Shyness isn't always bad; assertiveness isn't always good. We're just trying to be ourselves in a world that demands conformity. And, Susan, please don't promote women ...Read more

Ask Dating Coach Erika: 'Why have you never been married?'
The other day, a 60-something female, widowed client of mine received a message on Match.com from an accomplished, seemingly nice man. In her first response back to him, she asked – point blank – “Why have you never been married?” He replied very politely, saying that it was a combination of things, some work-related and some more ...Read more

Ask Anna: How to make LGBTQ+ friends as an adult
Happy Pride Month, advice-seekers! We’re getting gay this June by answering LGBTQ+ questions. As always, send your dating/sex/relationship que(e)ries to redeyedating@gmail.com.
Dear Anna,
My girlfriend and I (both 28, together for three years) have a solid group of friends from college and work, but we're the only queer couple in the bunch. ...Read more

Asking Eric: Parents excluded from daughter’s 40th birthday, but in-laws got an invite
Dear Eric: My daughter Tess turned 40 years old last month. Hard to believe how time flies. My husband and I took her and her husband, Mack, and two children out for dinner on her birthday as we always do every year. A few weeks before this, Mack asked my husband if we would babysit on a day after the birthday dinner. My husband told me that ...Read more
When the Marriage Hurts
Dear Annie: When I married my husband, I was completely inexperienced and unaware of his interest in kink. Six months into our marriage, a woman contacted me claiming to be one of his submissives. She said she couldn't live with the guilt of me not knowing. I had just found out I was pregnant, and the stress led to a miscarriage.
We went to ...Read more

Asking Eric: Friend courts danger by feeding wildlife in her backyard
Dear Eric: A friend of mine is a lovely woman, and a real animal lover. The problem is that she lives near some woods and feeds the wild animals that come to her yard. I'm not talking about just putting out a bird feeder, but she feeds opossums, raccoons, deer and other creatures, and gets a lot of pleasure out of doing so. It is not recommended...Read more
Living Together, Drifting Apart
Dear Annie: I've been married for over 25 years, and from the outside, it probably looks like we have a stable life. We raised kids together; we pay the bills; we attend family functions. But inside the walls of our home, I feel painfully alone.
My husband and I barely talk anymore unless it's about schedules, errands or something to do with ...Read more

Asking Eric: Spouse wants to reconcile with husband’s estranged sister
Dear Eric: My husband has a rocky past with his family. He is close with one sister and doesn't enjoy being with the other ("Lisa"), especially since she started dating (now married) a guy that is very awkward and makes our family get-togethers much less fun.
Additionally, their mother "Betsy" has been cut out of our lives, but not Lisa's. ...Read more
A Hidden Fortune, a Broken Heart
Dear Annie: I'm a 66-year-old woman, married to my second husband for nearly 17 years. Like many couples, we've had our share of struggles -- serious enough that we were close to separating. Wanting to save our marriage, I asked him to attend counseling with me, and to his credit, he agreed. We've been doing much better since then and have ...Read more
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