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Q: I hate that there still seems to be so much racial tension in America. I want my young children to avoid being affected. Do you have any thoughts on the subject?

Jim: It's unfortunate that racism has been a stain on our country for generations. I think the only way to really reverse it is like so many other things -- one heart at a time, as we teach our children how to treat others with respect.

I strongly encourage you to engage your kids in conversations about different cultures. Talk about how other groups of people live their daily lives or how they celebrate holidays. The lesson is that culture and tradition -- not skin color -- is what makes people talk or act a certain way.

In that process, encourage children to ask questions. Teach them how to have healthy and constructive dialogue with people from different backgrounds. The more our kids understand the road someone else has walked, the less likely they will act judgmentally toward that person.

Most importantly, model through your words and actions how to treat people with respect and love, no matter their skin tone or ethnic origin. Some say that children are "color-blind" -- I actually don't believe that's true. Kids quickly notice differences, whether it's between girls and boys, or between clothing, hairstyles or skin color. But they don't generally interpret those differences as negative unless they're taught to do so. So, we can and should teach our children that differences can be positive.

One final thought: Don't be too quick to punish your child that first time you're shocked to hear inappropriate remarks. We don't want to overreact. We DO want to guide our kids in the right direction by teaching them the appropriate way to engage the issue of race.

Q: My wife and I have been married 20-plus years and have a good relationship. We know each other well, and we each have our respective friends and hobbies to help us maintain our individuality. But we still sense that maybe we're missing something. What's your take?

Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Marriage & Family Formation: For many couples, the words "marital intimacy" bring to mind candlelit dinners, deep conversation and physical affection. It's all about opening your hearts to one another and sharing your innermost feelings. Those moments are certainly powerful and necessary connection points for a husband and wife. But there's another kind of intimacy that can be just as beneficial: social intimacy.

That term is really just as simple as it sounds. Social intimacy means you share activities together. Maybe you both enjoy exercising, taking hikes or gardening together. I'm sure you probably already share a lot of common interests.

But there's another facet to social intimacy that's a bit trickier. More than likely you'll both have to go beyond your individual comfort zones and agree to do activities that don't necessarily matter to you -- but they're important to your spouse.

Say your spouse loves hearing live orchestral music, but it's not your thing. Go to the symphony anyway. In some marriages, the husband enjoys baseball while the wife loves cooking shows. Watch some of each together. Take an afternoon to shop together for footwear -- both high heels and hunting boots. Make a concerted effort to explore each other's interests, and I'll predict your overall intimacy will deepen.

That's the heart and soul of social intimacy. It's not just about "doing stuff together." It's about showing your spouse how much you value them by entering into their world and honoring what's important to them.

For more tips to help your relationship thrive, visit FocusOnTheFamily.com/Marriage.

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Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at jimdalyblog.focusonthefamily.com or at Facebook.com/JimDalyFocus.

Copyright 2025 Focus On The Family. (This feature may not by reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without written permission of Focus on the Family.)

COPYRIGHT 2025 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.